Nevermore
by HilaryHilary
Summary: It's hard to be in love with a girl who looks to you as nothing more than a friend. It's harder when she's in love with your little brother. Keith Scott doesn't envy Dan for his skill on the court, but he envies him for her.


Nevermore

Cheerleaders.

Sometimes I wondered what moron had thought of them. Ten beautiful girls who got the crown excited, the guys turned on. But I knew that whoever it was, whoever had thought up cheerleaders, hadn't been a basketball player. Because if he had been, he would have realized what a distraction they were.

To be accurate though, nine of them weren't a distraction. It was only the Captain, the one in the middle that my eyes rested on as I ran onto the court with the rest of the team. Then I'd quickly avert my eyes so she wouldn't notice I'd been staring at her.

I'd avert just in time to glance in my younger brother's direction. He, too was staring at her. But he had a self-assured smirk on his face as he slowly looked from her legs to her face and then back down again. And the blush on her face when she winked at him wasn't from awkwardness-it was flirtatiousness.

Karen Roe. The girl I'd loved my entire life.

To get the crowd riled up we begin to shoot baskets. The cheerleaders have already started cheering:

"Let's go Ravens!" Clap, clap, clap clap clap. "Let's go Ravens!" Clap, clap, clap clap clap. She stands on the far edge of the line, closest to where we're shooting. When she notices me looking at her, she takes her eyes off my brother for long enough to give me a friendly, sisterlike smile. Why does she always have to give me that smile?

Not that it isn't a beautiful smile. I mean, there is very little of Karen that isn't beautiful-the long, tanned legs that she shows off in her uniform, her trousled bed head that I see most Saturday mornings as we eat breakfast together before Dan awakens.

Those few hours are the highlight of my week. I always woke up early and I always had, Dan had always slept late. After the Friday night game the three of us would go party, sometimes together and sometimes apart with all the other members of the most elite social circles. I'd arrive back at the house at around midnight, Dan and Karen would come in an hour later and then she'd still be there the next morning.

She'd wander into the kitchen in Dan's sweatshirt, I'd pour her a bowl of cheerios. We'd start discussing the previous night's game and then move onto any topic under the sun-we'd never had a hard time talking. She knew me better than anyone, knew everything about me except for the fact that I loved her to oblivion.

Every morning, a few hours later, Dan rolls in. He pulls a chair up close to her and she leans against him as he plays with her long dark hair. He always meets my eyes above her head, and in these moments I think he knows my carefully guarded secret. He begins to mock me teasingly, in such a way that is rude, but impossibly reproached. Eventually he sucks her into it and she joins in at his pushing, still in her friendly tone, meeting my eyes and laughing. She doesn't mean any harm.

But he isn't with her to get to me-he's with her because he loves her. Honestly and hugely, he loves her and she loves him. They're together for more than sex, more than just they're the best player on the team and the head cheerleader. A match that is and always has been, and always will be. When Dan has a son, he'll be the player dating the head cheerleader.

We take our positions on the court. Our tallest player goes to face off against the Pickerington team, and we immediately take the ball.

Frank Brewer gets the ball, fakes a pass to Dan and then passes to me. I catch the meaning-I'm supposed to get the ball to Dan so he can score and uphold his 27 point record. But I don't-I take a shot from the third point line and manage to make it in. I glance around the crowd as they begin to cheer wildly and happen to see Whitey, who appears to be laughing as quietly as possible. As I grin at Dan, he gives me an evil look-he plays for the glory, I play for the love. I glance over at the cheerleaders, cheering with the rest of them. Karen's voice calls out to me, and I smile at her. A brother's smile.

Dan grabs the ball as soon as possible and makes a two pointer. Somehow the crowd seems to get wilder over his than mine. Karen winks at him again and his hand feels her hip for a moment as he runs past her. I hear her giggle and the whispers of the other girls. I feel indignant for her-he's practically harassing her!

Pickerington make the basket. Then Greg Smith does, then Oliver Ricketts, then me again, and then Dan. Then Dan, then me and me again and then Dan, and Dan. It was a good game for me, but still he manages to wipe me out entirely.

Dan's too eager to wait until his bedroom after the party. After strutting around the gym for awhile, proclaiming 'his' victory, he heads for his girlfriend. She protests slightly as he kisses her but relaxes as they begin to make out publicly on the sidelines.

I notice the other cheerleaders smiling at me, but I don't notice. I'm not a brilliant player like Dan is, but I'm not half bad. Most of the cheerleaders would quite willingly go out with me. But the one I want-the one I need-is in love with my brother.

In the showers, the other guys are playfully making fun of Dan for his PDA. They make snide jokes about how willing she was, and he joins them.

I turn my back to them. I can't join them-I don't agree, and I love her. But I can't deny them, then it would be perfectly obvious that I'm in love with my little brother's girlfriend. Hopelessly pathetic.

The party tonight is at Greg Smith's. I took Anna Pearson, a moody artistic cheerleader with blonde curls framing her angled, sad face. She's pretty-very pretty-but it's all I can do to keep up light conversation with her, let alone actually take interest.

We join a cluster of players and cheerleaders. Dan is in the middle, his arm around her neck. They're pressed up close together but mostly keeping their hands to themselves. They fit together well. He's tall, almost as tall as I am, and she's petite. I take Anna's hand, but she doesn't make an attempt to move closer. She's tall, and seemingly uninterested in the group's discussion. Why can't I be in love with a girl like her? Pretty, fairly deep, unattached. But as I glance at Karen again, I can't imagine ever loving anyone but her.

After it's over I drop her off at her house. I wait until she enters to drive off. I stay awake for an hour as I always do, waiting for them to arrive. Eventually they do and I hear them tiptoe upstairs and fall onto the bed.

And the next morning we have breakfast together.


End file.
